What should I do if I'm having trouble staying with my work in STJ?

If you are getting spaced out, distracted, sleepy, or bored, or if you feel like eating, drinking or doing something other than this program, this may be due to reluctance to continue working on your psychological issues right now. You might also find yourself wanting to stop, or to come back at another time, or to more generally avoid this work.

There are a number of reasons why this may be happening:

Working Alone. If you are trying to work on your Self-Therapy Journey on your own,  you might be better off with a witness during your sessions or to talk with afterwards. Click here for a detailed discussion of the value of this and how to find someone.

Not the Right Time. This may not be a good time to be attempting this work, or you have done enough for today. It could be that you need to take a break and come back later today.

Going Too Fast. You may be moving too fast or pushing yourself into painful material more quickly than your psyche is ready for, and as a result, defenses are coming up. Slow down; take your time. Give yourself more time to process the feelings that are emerging. Don't try to push past resistance. Talk to a supportive friend. Allow this work to evolve in its own time. You don't need to go through Self-Therapy Journey in a linear fashion. You may need to come back to a pattern or wound a number of times in different ways before you fully understand it. Allow it to be a longer term project if that feels right to you.

Painful Emotions. It may be that pain is coming up that you want to avoid. If this might be true, click here to get help.

Judging Yourself. You may be feeling bad about yourself because you are judging yourself as a result of what you are learning about yourself. It is common for our Inner Critics to use this information to make us feel bad about ourselves. They tell us that we are really screwed up, that we’ll never be happy. Don’t believe these self-attacks. Keep in mind that we all have behavior and feelings that we don't like. You aren't bad or pathological or inadequate because of how you act, what you feel, or the underlying motivations for your patterns. If your Inner Critic is beating you up about your fears, don't take it seriously. When you can take in new information from an open place, it helps you to see yourself more clearly. If you are having trouble with Inner Critic attacks, you might want to explore the Inner Critic Pattern

Reluctance. There may be a part of you that is reluctant to engage in this work. This is understandable. Dealing with psychological issues can be difficult and painful, so it is natural that a part of you might want to avoid this work even though you have chosen to do it. If this is happening, don’t judge yourself. Have compassion for the part of you that is reluctant to go on. You have shown an interest in understanding yourself by starting this program. You can do it.

Look inside to see what part of you is resisting doing this work. Very often this comes from the Foggy Pattern, so check to see if that fits for you. If so, it might be wise to work on that pattern now. Click here to do that.

You can click on the top buttons on the Right hand column from the STJ pages - see the link at the bottom of this article to see exactly where they are.

It could be very helpful to do a guided meditation with the part of you that is avoiding this work. 
Click here to do that.

Needing More Help. If the meditation didn't work and the rest of this page wasn't successful in helping you to continue with this work, then you may need additional help instead of (or along with) Self-Therapy Journey. I recommend that you get this help through IFS therapy. Click IFS Resources

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